"The key, or keyhole, has always been a parable shrouded in mystery. It associates us with something inaccessible, hidden from the reach of our eyes, a desire that may be very close, but only the owner of the key is allowed – like a wizard guarding the formula of an incantation – to peek behind the reinforced concrete or other fortel curtain separating the tiresome despair of the outside world from the fancifully bright idea of a 1 + 1 bedroom with a hood and a balcony. Just as ciphers are broken, the antidote to keys has gradually emerged in the form of jewelers’ picks, crowbars, pry bars, pliers, and turnbuckles. So if you cannot afford your own housing, your rent has been raised prohibitively, or you are being evicted by your landlady, it is advisable to be realistic about the situation: if you assess that your chances of finding adequate alternative housing are low or nonexistent, taking a retraining course to learn the basics of expertly handling the tools mentioned above is the recommended solution. The double advantage of this over contract housing is obvious: if you get found out, you’re looking at a stint in jail, so whatever the outcome, you’ll spend the winter warm."